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Funny Text Message Jokes

admin — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:38:17 +0000

Do u take me 2 b ur lawful txt m8,
2 have & 2 hold in rich quotes & horny jokes,
in txt matrimony & in poor signal,
til low battery & no reception do us part?

Last night,
I needed u so badly,
I wanted 2 taste you,
I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me
but i couldn’t find you
Mr. PARACETAMOL!!!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.
It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.
I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised
it was my own REFLECTION

Money will buy a bed but not sleep,
food but not appetite,
amusement but not happiness.
You see, money is not everything.
Therefore, if you have too much,
please send it to me ASAP!

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity,
each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don’t know. Never happens.

Naughty Text Messages

admin — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:37:47 +0000

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din’t wear any of them.

Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women?
A: magnets have a positive side

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
“I slept wid ur mom last nite”
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.
He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust.”

Text Jokes 1

admin — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 14:25:13 +0000

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

If you wanna be a hippie, put you flower in your pipi…

Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.