Funny Text Messages

Do u take me 2 b ur lawful txt m8,
2 have & 2 hold in rich quotes & horny jokes,
in txt matrimony & in poor signal,
til low battery & no reception do us part?

Last night,
I needed u so badly,
I wanted 2 taste you,
I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me
but i couldn’t find you
Mr. PARACETAMOL!!!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.
It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.
I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised
it was my own REFLECTION
Click here to read more Funny Text Message Jokes... (202 words, estimated 48 secs reading time)

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din’t wear any of them.

Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women?
A: magnets have a positive side

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
“I slept wid ur mom last nite”
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.
He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”
Click here to read more Naughty Text Messages... (131 words, estimated 31 secs reading time)

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

If you wanna be a hippie, put you flower in your pipi…

Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
Click here to read more Text Jokes 1... (170 words, estimated 41 secs reading time)