Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

Q: Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn’t find the recipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a bottle of beer?
A: The beer won’t get jealous when you have another!

Q: What’s the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: The rooster says “cock-a-doodle-doo!”, and the blonde says, “Any cock’ll do!”

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out!

Q: Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
A: Cuz she can spell it…

Q: Why didn’t the blonde change her babys diaper for a month?
A: Because the package said good for up to one month.

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Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

S3x is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your p3nis………………………ERROR: Your p3nis was not found! Sorry…………..

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

I want to s*ck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

A woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman for a “double entendre” – so he gave her one!

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A group of elephants were
sitting on the street. A sexy
female elephant passes by…
What does the loafer elephant say?
Wow… 3600-2400-3600

chicken and egg in bed,
chicken has head on pillow smoking.
Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”

life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it

r mosquitoes religious?
YES
They first sing over u
& then prey on you

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My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

If you wanna be a hippie, put you flower in your pipi…

Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

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