Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

S3x is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your p3nis………………………ERROR: Your p3nis was not found! Sorry…………..

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

I want to s*ck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

A woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman for a “double entendre” – so he gave her one!