Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women?
A: magnets have a positive side

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
“I slept wid ur mom last nite”
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.
He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust.”