Funny Text Messages

Just though you ought to know…Your body makes me putty in your arms!

I’m home all by myself…Going crazy…Thinking about you.

A short thing, its get longer as u hold it
pass between woman’s breast & enters into a small hole
What is it?
Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind

A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired,
When her friends asked her what happened? She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
“I thought It was MONEY”

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Click here to read more Dirty Text Messages... (930 words, estimated 3:43 mins reading time)

Miss: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

What’s the difference between your job and your wife?
Your job still sucks after five years!
Click here to read more Dirty Text Messages... (202 words, estimated 48 secs reading time)

Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I’ll lick U clean.

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

What’s the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still sucks after five years!

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
Click here to read more Dirty Text Messages... (209 words, estimated 50 secs reading time)