Funny Text Messages

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din’t wear any of them.

Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women?
A: magnets have a positive side

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
“I slept wid ur mom last nite”
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.
He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”
Click here to read more Naughty Text Messages... (131 words, estimated 31 secs reading time)

Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I’ll lick U clean.

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

What’s the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still sucks after five years!

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
Click here to read more Dirty Text Messages... (209 words, estimated 50 secs reading time)

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

A group of elephants were
sitting on the street. A sexy
female elephant passes by…
What does the loafer elephant say?
Wow… 3600-2400-3600

chicken and egg in bed,
chicken has head on pillow smoking.
Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”

life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it

r mosquitoes religious?
YES
They first sing over u
& then prey on you

What will happen if u throw an AMPLIFIER into the sea?
TSUNAMI will be created since an amplifier converts small waves into bigger wave.

Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need.

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

A Short thing, It gets Longer when U hold it, N pass between women Breasts, N enters into A hole What is it? 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt, U dirty mind.
Click here to read more Jokes For Text... (142 words, estimated 34 secs reading time)

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i laf.U jump out of da window… I look down & den… i laf again

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
Click here to read more Text Messages Joke... (284 words, estimated 1:08 mins reading time)

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

If you wanna be a hippie, put you flower in your pipi…

Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
Click here to read more Text Jokes 1... (170 words, estimated 41 secs reading time)

Little Girl:”Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a p3nis like a peanut”
Mommy:”u mean its small?”
Little Girl:”No its salty”

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!

Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.
do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
Click here to read more Naughty Text Messages... (181 words, estimated 43 secs reading time)