Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other “God it’s hot in here”
The other one replies “Oh no… It’s a talking muffin”
A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
“Hey buddy, Why the Long Face”
What’s slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger
Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don’t have balls to scratch.
Quote of the millenium:- “Prostitution is the only industry where fresh employees are paid more than the experienced ones”.
Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.
“A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, “Dentist caught filling wrong cavity”.
One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, “HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?”
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. Why do women have small feet?
A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Attempted Rape Joke
At Police Station:
Dalaga: Sir, kakasuhan ko po iyong kapitbahay kong si Toto pogi.
Police: Ano ang isasampang kaso mo sa kanya.
Dalaga: Attempted rape po Sir.
Police: E, Baka puedeng maayos niyong dalawa iyan, total di naman natuloy iyong rape.
Dalaga: Kaya nga nagdedemanda ako Sir, dahil di pa niya itinuloy.
tindira: HOII!kahit nagtitinda lang ako ng juice dito may mga anak ako na nasa UP, UV, UC, USC, USJR ug STC.
student:WOW!anong course nila?
tindira:wala!nagtitinda rin ng juicce..
Pedro: Anong ulam ninyo?
Juan: Blanched green leafy veggie with crushed sweet tomato in sparkling salted sea food.
Pedro: Wow! Ang sarap naman nun. Ano yun?
Juan: Talbos ng kamote at bagoong na may pinisang kamatis. Kayo, anong ulam ninyo?
Pedro: Fish fillet de el nenyo.
Juan: Wow sosyal! Ano ‘yun?
ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!
Sa isang Museum..
Juan: Ito bang pangit na ‘to ang tinatawag nyo na “ART”?! Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!