How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move!
When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
Be nice to your children. They choose your nursing home.
I’ve written a poem for you: twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, mental hospital is not too far.
They say laughter is the best medicine…so your face must be curing the world one laugh at a time.
It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
To forget all your worries, disapointments, unwanted emotions & behavior, & all the terrible things that life brings you,
Just do one thing.
In an exam, a student who wasn’t prepared left the test paper blank and at bottom drew flowers and wrote…
“In memory of my memory which recently passed away!”
Due to numerous cases of Roman Catholic Priests linked to women and boys, the Vatican plans to change their title to -
ROMANTIC CATHOLIC PRIESTS.
A woman tells her boyfriend, it’s not fair, women have two things to attract the opposite sex and men only have one.
The boyfriend says men have two things also, and pulls out his wallet.