Funny Text Messages

Easter Sunday Jokes

admin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:48:06 +0000

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else.

Q. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A. He doesn’t want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens.

Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body.

Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr!

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
“Ether”!
“Ether” who?
“Ether” Bunny!

When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair?

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.

Altzheimer’s Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Christmas Text Jokes

Summer Jokes and Summer Quotes

admin — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:15:37 +0000

Summer Jokes
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?
A: I’m bacon!

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On a cheerful summer holiday weekend a man walks into the butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying “Ground Sirloin: 29 cents per pound.”
“I’m having a cookout this weekend,” the man says, “and I’d like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please.”
The butcher shakes his head and says, “Sorry. I’m all out.”
The disappointed man goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, “How much is your ground sirloin?”
“It’s $3.29 per pound.”
“Three twenty nine?” exclaims the man. “Just up the street they are selling it for 29 cents!”
The butcher smiles calmly at the gentleman and asks, “Does he have any?”
“No. He’s out of it right now.”
“Well,” says the butcher, “When I don’t have any, I can also sell it for 19 cents per pound!”

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A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle. He pulls out the cork, and a genie appears and tells him he has three wishes. “But,” the genie says, “I have to warn you, whatever you receive, your worst enemy will get twice as much as you.”

“OK,” says the guy, “first, I want ten million dollars.” The genie grants the wish and reminds him that his worst enemy now has twenty million dollars.

“Next wish, I want a thirty-room mansion in the Bahamas.” The genie builds the mansion for him, and lets him know that his worst enemy now has a home twice as big.

“Fine. For the last wish,” the guy picks up a big stick and hands it to the genie, “beat me HALF to death.”

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Summer Quotations
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~ Russel Baker

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Funny Christmas Text Messages

admin — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:58:16 +0000

What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!

What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood!

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy!

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

Christmas Text Jokes

admin — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:55:23 +0000

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail!

Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.

Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don’t know if they’re celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas!

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas!

Christmas Text Messages

admin — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 11:33:57 +0000

Christmas is the season of love and share so here’s a list of lovely messages that you can share to your love ones.

Wen a big, fat, hairy man comes in ur room at nyht and put you in a bag, dont be afraid! Ive told Santa i want you for Christmas!

A blessed Christmas to you! A silent night,a star above,a blessed gift of hopeand love. A blessed Christmas to you!

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas have a great new year !Hopefully santa will be extra good to you .enjoy your holidays!

May your world be filled with warmth and good chear this Holy season, and throughout the year.Wish your Christmas be filled with peace and love. Merry X-mas..

May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.

May your days be bright, and your heart be light! May this glorious day of our Savior’s birth resound with hope and peace on earth!Merry Christmas!

New is the year, new r the hopes and the aspirations, new is the resolution, new are the spirits and forever my warm wishes are for u.Have a promising and fulfilling christmas and happy new year

If I were a cabbage, I’d split myself in 2, My leaves I’d give to all my friends but my Heart I’d save 4 u! Merry Christmas!!!

A morning smile will recharge you with tireless energy to go through the way. Let GOD’s providence be a reminder that HE prepared the best for you today. Merry Christmas!!!!