Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

Q: Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn’t find the recipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a bottle of beer?
A: The beer won’t get jealous when you have another!

Q: What’s the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: The rooster says “cock-a-doodle-doo!”, and the blonde says, “Any cock’ll do!”

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out!

Q: Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
A: Cuz she can spell it…

Q: Why didn’t the blonde change her babys diaper for a month?
A: Because the package said good for up to one month.

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1. Text Messages Joke

- There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called?
- Warden.

- There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving?
- Nethier, the cop is.

- What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship?
- They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!

- What’s the difference between a nigger and a car tire?
- The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!

- How come niggers don’t drive convertible cars?
- Because they’re lips would wave on the wind and stick on their faces.

In South Africa a nigger was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy.
- He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy.
- I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.

In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat:
- In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet!
- In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.

In Africa, in a hospital, a black man entered armed – he had a knife on him – stick in his back!

- How do you save a nigger from drowning?
- You take your foot of his head!

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Q. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A. He doesn’t want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens.

Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body.

Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr!

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
“Ether”!
“Ether” who?
“Ether” Bunny!

When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair?

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.

Altzheimer’s Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs.

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On a cheerful summer holiday weekend a man walks into the butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying “Ground Sirloin: 29 cents per pound.”
“I’m having a cookout this weekend,” the man says, “and I’d like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please.”
The butcher shakes his head and says, “Sorry. I’m all out.”
The disappointed man goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, “How much is your ground sirloin?”
“It’s $3.29 per pound.”
“Three twenty nine?” exclaims the man. “Just up the street they are selling it for 29 cents!”
The butcher smiles calmly at the gentleman and asks, “Does he have any?”
“No. He’s out of it right now.”
“Well,” says the butcher, “When I don’t have any, I can also sell it for 19 cents per pound!”

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A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle. He pulls out the cork, and a genie appears and tells him he has three wishes. “But,” the genie says, “I have to warn you, whatever you receive, your worst enemy will get twice as much as you.”

“OK,” says the guy, “first, I want ten million dollars.” The genie grants the wish and reminds him that his worst enemy now has twenty million dollars.

“Next wish, I want a thirty-room mansion in the Bahamas.” The genie builds the mansion for him, and lets him know that his worst enemy now has a home twice as big.

“Fine. For the last wish,” the guy picks up a big stick and hands it to the genie, “beat me HALF to death.”

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Summer Quotations
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~ Russel Baker

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Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!

What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood!

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy!

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

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