Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

Q: Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn’t find the recipe.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a bottle of beer?
A: The beer won’t get jealous when you have another!

Q: What’s the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: The rooster says “cock-a-doodle-doo!”, and the blonde says, “Any cock’ll do!”

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out!

Q: Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
A: Cuz she can spell it…

Q: Why didn’t the blonde change her babys diaper for a month?
A: Because the package said good for up to one month.

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- There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called?
- Warden.

- There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving?
- Nethier, the cop is.

- What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship?
- They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!

- What’s the difference between a nigger and a car tire?
- The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!

- How come niggers don’t drive convertible cars?
- Because they’re lips would wave on the wind and stick on their faces.

In South Africa a nigger was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy.
- He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy.
- I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.

In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat:
- In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet!
- In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.

In Africa, in a hospital, a black man entered armed – he had a knife on him – stick in his back!

- How do you save a nigger from drowning?
- You take your foot of his head!

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Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

S3x is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your p3nis………………………ERROR: Your p3nis was not found! Sorry…………..

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

I want to s*ck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

A woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman for a “double entendre” – so he gave her one!

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When In Trouble
When you are in trouble, don’t ever say,”Hey God!, I have big problem”
instead say,”Hey Problem, I have big GOD!”
and everything will be fine….

Success of Your Life
If you talk or say something after you think about it
this is not a success.
If you think and talk or say something
this is you success of your life.

Good Friends Are Hard To Find
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.

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terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers…
and demanded a ransom of $500000 or else they will burn them with kerosene…
plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
Stupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
Stupid Man + Stupid Woman = Marriage !

One day i read smoking is bad, i stopped smoking.
one day i read drinking is bad, i stopped drinking.
one day i read SEX is bad, i stopped reading

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