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On a cheerful summer holiday weekend a man walks into the butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying “Ground Sirloin: 29 cents per pound.”
“I’m having a cookout this weekend,” the man says, “and I’d like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please.”
The butcher shakes his head and says, “Sorry. I’m all out.”
The disappointed man goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, “How much is your ground sirloin?”
“It’s $3.29 per pound.”
“Three twenty nine?” exclaims the man. “Just up the street they are selling it for 29 cents!”
The butcher smiles calmly at the gentleman and asks, “Does he have any?”
“No. He’s out of it right now.”
“Well,” says the butcher, “When I don’t have any, I can also sell it for 19 cents per pound!”

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A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle. He pulls out the cork, and a genie appears and tells him he has three wishes. “But,” the genie says, “I have to warn you, whatever you receive, your worst enemy will get twice as much as you.”

“OK,” says the guy, “first, I want ten million dollars.” The genie grants the wish and reminds him that his worst enemy now has twenty million dollars.

“Next wish, I want a thirty-room mansion in the Bahamas.” The genie builds the mansion for him, and lets him know that his worst enemy now has a home twice as big.

“Fine. For the last wish,” the guy picks up a big stick and hands it to the genie, “beat me HALF to death.”

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Summer Quotations
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~ Russel Baker

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“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain’t likely to hurt you.

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

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Words however special… could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart.

Love under the stars… they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most.

Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you’re gone. Mend me to your side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, what’s simple is true, I love you.

My love, words however special … could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!

Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you’re worth that sacrafice!

I miss you … I need you … More and more …. each day … I love you … more than words … can ever say.

The hardest thing in life is watching someone you love , loving someone else.

Don’t love 1, don’t love 2, but love the 1 who loves you.

You showed me how it is to be loved. Now i know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again.

Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you know you’re always on my mind!

I don’t wanna feel the way that I do, I just wanna be right here with you, I don’t wanna see, see us apart, I just wanna say straight from my heart I miss you

I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more and more!

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When In Trouble
When you are in trouble, don’t ever say,”Hey God!, I have big problem”
instead say,”Hey Problem, I have big GOD!”
and everything will be fine….

Success of Your Life
If you talk or say something after you think about it
this is not a success.
If you think and talk or say something
this is you success of your life.

Good Friends Are Hard To Find
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.

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