Flirty Text Messages
I know you’re busy today, but can you add one thing to your to-do list? Me.
I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.
If I could re arrange the alphabet I would put u and i together.
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
Just though you ought to know…Your body makes me putty in your arms!
I’m home all by myself…Going crazy…Thinking about you.
A short thing, its get longer as u hold it
pass between woman’s breast & enters into a small hole
What is it?
Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind
A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired,
When her friends asked her what happened? She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
“I thought It was MONEY”
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
Of all the babes your my selection.please don’t give me a rejection.my teeth are clean for your inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!
Viagra now available in eye drops, you don’t get an erection but you look hard!
From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm……NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
I had a wet dream about you last night …. I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.
Q: Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn’t find the recipe.
sky is very high,
but that is blue,
I am missing sombody,
that is you.
DON’T LOVE A FRIEND LIKE A FLOWER,
BECAUSE A FLOWER DIES IN SEASON.
LOVE THEM LIKE RIVER, BESAUSE A RIVER FLOWS
FOREVER….HAVE A NICE DAY
He came to me one nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
and had his fill
wen satisfied he left…
I was hurt…
F IN MOSQUITO
yoU Dirty Mind
Which part of mans body has no bone, full of veins, pumps liquid, and responsible for making love?
Answer: HEART, but I love the way you think.
Miss: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
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What’s the difference between your job and your wife?
Your job still sucks after five years!
Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din’t wear any of them.
Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women?
A: magnets have a positive side
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”
In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
“I slept wid ur mom last nite”
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.
He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I’ll lick U clean.
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What’s the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still sucks after five years!
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
Little Girl:”Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a p3nis like a peanut”
Mommy:”u mean its small?”
Little Girl:”No its salty”
A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.
do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?